Being (Personally) Helpful but (Professionally) Incompetent

So I am waiting for my train to Yogyakarta as I am writing this.

I have missed my flight TWICE this year and burned several tickets due to last-minute cancellations. I do not feel good but... I feel like I am learning through every unexpected failure. I am proud of how I mitigated this without panic, but yes with extra money. I am proud of myself for knowing HOW to tackle the challenge of getting from point A to point B quickly. But of course, I am not happy paying extra, especially when I am struggling with my budgeting.

While waiting for my train, I am thinking of my recent life updates. 

I have been EXTREMELY busy at work. I have more responsibilities this year. I like it. I gained more skills, I got to collaborate with more people and I can say I have a better understanding of my roles at work. I did not have a clear purpose for going to the office last year. I went to the office just to avoid getting fired? Last year, I hit my lowest point. I had no ambition, I had no desire to prove my worth, and I had no idea why would they pay me. 

I read career-related books. I talked to a career coach. I tried to understand why I was not feeling satisfied - when I have a pretty good career at a company that I actually admire.

This year, I changed my mindset, my approach, my overall attitude of showing up at work. I have a clear goal I want to achieve. I said to myself multiple times: My coworkers can be my friends. They will not harm me. They are helpful, so I must be helpful too.

It magically changed everything. I gained so many friends at work (while still keeping my professional/personal boundaries). My coworkers from different departments would come to me asking for super random help. From proofreading English articles to performing some quick investigative duties. Someone even came to me to ask for help in the medical area - something out of my expertise.

My coworkers know that even when I cannot directly help, I will still find alternate solutions for them.
My coworkers know that I will not make them feel bad for asking for help.
My coworkers know that I am reliable for some of the most random things.

Of course this reputation is working well at work. But I noticed one thing: I am still not known for my original role. They would loudly say that Alira is kind. Alira is helpful. Alira speaks good English. But barely anyone would vouch for my stellar technical skill, which I realize that I am still lacking a lot. 

This motivates me to upgrade myself. I am thoroughly planning my 2024 goals right now and one of them is clear: I want to be known as someone helpful, reachable AND reliable for my real job.

If I cannot do that by 2024, then I might as well change my job position.

I want to contribute meaningfully to society. I want to have job that is aligned with my personal values (which I currently do, just not quite direct). Ultimately, I want to be closer to my goal of playing a vital role in improving financial literacy in Southeast Asia and beyond.