The reason is clear, I do not see the need for a perfect GPA, sacrificing my precious time. I have other things to pursue and I am scared I would regret it if I choose to spend most of my 24 hours a day cramming academic stuff. Theories and calculations are not my friends. My prof then shared about the competitiveness curve in business school (basically getting 4.0 out of 4.5 GPA would only put you in the top 40%) and concluded "I think you will have no problem if your GPA is above 3.7"
Mmmmm... if aim high high to perfection, still got life ma?
3.7 is definitely attainable, although I was not sure if I was willing to work for it. Fast forward, I regularly meet this professor every semester to get some life insights from him. He always asked about my GPA, and mind you, it is below his standard. He constantly reminded me in every meeting to improve my GPA. I would never forget our meeting in late 2017, I argued his push to improve my GPA by saying "But I take good classes and it is challenging."
He was very positive and said, "Then combine both? Take good classes and study harder?"
"Then I would not have a life that way!"
He laughed, "Well, you have a bright future ahead of you. Keep going!"
This sounds like nothing, but the conversation actually stuck on my mind forever. At that time, he had never seen my CV. He only had a rough idea about my activities and got a grasp on what kind of person I am through our limited conversations. But he spent time understanding where I am coming from, rather than shooting general advice at me. He tries to understand my super-strange perspective in life and bears with me when I constantly reject his idea of applying to investment banking. That day, he deduced that I hate competition.
No one ever said it to me. My old school friends know I was super active in joining many organizations, participating in many competitions, so it did not make sense to me that I might actually hate competition? Yes, it is possible that I have changed since school days but... really? That drastic?
I went out of his office rethinking about my past journey, my successes and my failures, what caused it and how did I deal with it. It seemed to be true, I always managed to find creative ways to sell myself. I tend to always take the longer route because I judged that I would not be able to compete on the shortest and the most popular way to a certain goal. I never see it as a lack of confidence, I simply think I know myself really well and I have other ways to show my real potential.
To say that I am not good academically is not true tho. I have always got satisfactory grades. I might not always be in the top 10% but I rarely find myself in the bottom 40% either. My classmate in middle school testified on Twitter (here) that she thinks I am smart - it is just that I do NOT want to be ambitious in my academic progress. Her remark made me thinking: Why?
Going back to my initial stance, I have other dreams that I want to pursue and I think achieving perfect grades in school will not take me closer to my goals. With this in mind, I have constantly looking for other ways to survive in such a competitive world. Finally, on last Tuesday, I was the one who asked my professor, "So at this point (being a final year student), do you think improving my GPA is still important?"
He laughed and said, "Well, maintaining is important!"
"Don't worry Professor, I maintain it very well! It never goes up, it never goes down!"
We both laughed and I continued, "I got the impression that everyone here never settles for less than 4. I do not resonate with that."
"People want to apply for Law School." (it is highly competitive in Korea)
"Mmmm or they just do that because everyone is doing that."
"That's true. Well, you are in the safe range so I think you would be fine. Many students get below 3 and it's definitely very concerning."
I felt happy with his acknowledgment and I think I can continue to fight for my dream, in my own way.
